The mirror can reflect an image that reveals what it really
sees, or if bent and shaped wrongly can reflect a poor image. The mirror we choose to look into to see our
reflection must be chosen carefully.
However, most people allow others to choose their mirrors for them. The result brings a falsely perceived image
created by a world that is never satisfied and a world that cannot truly
satisfy. As I seek to grow close with God
and meditate on His Word, I know that I am allowing the Truth of the Bible to
become my mirror. I trust the reflection
it gives as being honest and real to who I am.
But not only who I am apart from Christ, but who I am becoming daily in
Christ. I understand this to be true
when I read Isaiah chapter six, where Isaiah in the presence of God and His
glory, quickly repents of not only his own sin but also the sin in the
land. The Word, a double edged sword
that cuts into the heart, becomes a mirror that reveals our great need for the
sacrifice that Jesus gave us. The Word
reveals to us our own sin, helping us recognize what sin we have. If it not for the Word of God we would be
unable to identify our sin. David speaks
in Psalms how he asks God to search his heart.
This has been my prayer for a long time, trusting in God’s faithfulness
to reveal to me what sin I allow to build a wall between myself and Him. I love how if you ask He will answer and in
my life I have learned that with what earnest I proceed in praying for Him to
search my heart and form me into His likeness; He with the same earnest answers
my requests. I know that I have a
lifetime to grow in Him and be molded by my Maker still, but in this testimony
I want to share a recent revelation that only His mirror could have revealed to
my closed eyes. Whether it be a learned
behavior from my own culture or just my own sinful nature, I took too lightly
my sin of becoming so easily offended. I
stood firm in my right to be offended by things that mattered most only to me,
feeling that being wronged was an excuse to be quickened to anger and
bitterness. Honestly, I would find no
fault in being so easily upset. I would
read in Proverbs the wisdom of looking over an offense, and somehow still found
justification in my sin. Like taking His
Word as a suggestion rather than giving it opportunity to truly be applied in
my life. Allowing this sin to grow
inside of me, I was blinded to its effects of those closest to me and to myself. I found that I would easily be angered about
the littlest of things, things in the surrounding culture, things I read in an
email, and things that my husband would say that would not have bothered me
when we first got married. My heart was
becoming callous in this area and all along I thought it was the blame of
others. I listened to a woman’s
testimony one day and she shared her struggle with easily becoming offended and
its’ ill tasting fruit. All of a sudden,
as if my eyes were opened for the first time, I recognized my own sin as I
peered deep into the mirror set before me by God. His Spirit was gentle that day, but heavy at
the same time. I repented quickly, and
continued to repent days later as the Spirit would bring to my heart different
situations in my life where I had fallen short in this area. I felt broken, but a brokenness by His
hand. After that, something lifted off
of me and off my marriage. It was like I
was feeding an oppression I had no idea was latched onto me, but feeling the
release of it really made me aware of what I was blinded by. I felt free after my repentance, and my heart
feels lighter. If you would have asked
me to identify this sin last year, I would have been unable to. My marriage has changed quite
significantly. Humbly, I confess that
where I thought my husband needed to change, it was I that needed a heart
reconstruction. He is really happy now;
he sees the difference and has patiently waited on God to make the change. He is a good and godly man who deserves a
wife that does not get easily angered.
In our churches we talk about forgiveness, slandering others, and
holding on to our bitterness as being wrong, but never do we discuss how being
easily offended leads to these other sins.
I would somehow in my mind think it was okay to be upset today, for
tomorrow I will forgive and let go. But
gradually my ability to do this was getting harder, because I was allowing
myself to be angered way too often and the forgiveness of others was coming
around slower. I was surprised how I
thought being offended was my right, that it protected me from being hurt again
in the future, but that in reality my offended feelings toward others was only
hurting me. I would discuss with others
my sore feelings and find myself slandering the offender, thinking it was
justified by my hurt. But slander is
slander, and comes easily from being offended.
Now, when I live my day, I tell myself to not be offended by those who
walk in my path, to control my emotions and allow His love to reign in my
heart. It is not easy, but recognizing
that sin has given me the ability to choose against it in my daily life. I thank God for showing this to me, and I
have gained a reverence more for His Truth and presence in my life. I am in need of Him searching my heart and if
I ever cease that prayer with earnestness then I have walked a fools ways. I am choosing transparency in this testimony
because I know that another transparent testimony set me free.
“A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to
his glory to overlook an offense.” Proverbs 19:11
